The Food Scout

Back on March 9, I wrote a blog on the perky Rachel Ray and how she was stretching her “brand” too far, too fast, to ANYTHING. Well, I think Homer Simpson et al. have crossed over to the Dark Side of marketing as well, becoming the latest uber-licensed brand to be stamped ruthlessly on any product or promotion that is interested in shelling out some cash. The Simpsons’ presence in marketing vehicles of late has quickly passed by my “clever” and “ubiquitous” checkpoints, and is now sprinting beyond “tasteless” to achieve the “cram it down their throats” milestone.

Today’s “More is More” world doesn’t seem to pause to consider longevity issues or turtle-race strategies for winning. Peak early and peak higher than the last It-brand.

Now that doesn’t mean some thinking didn’t go into the Simpsons promotions. In the spirit of Life-Imitates-Art (where TV-show products are plugged into real life instead of real products plugged into TV lives), 7-Eleven has converted some of its storefronts to Kwik-E-Marts, and is stocking shelves and merchandising displays with real-life, previously fictional foods including Krusty-O’s, Squishees, Buzz Cola, Homer Cookies and Sprinklicious pink donuts.

Now that’s sticky. And it’s not just novelty. According to an ABC News report earlier this week, in the past 3 weeks since 7-Eleven converted 12 of its stores, the company has sold more than a million Squishees (Slurpees), and nearly a million Sprinklicious doughnuts and cans of Buzz Cola. Pretty impressive, but let’s hope this idea doesn’t catch on with every promotion executive.

And now, with only days to go before the cartoon movie debuts in theaters, I feel like The Simpsons have become guests who over-stayed their welcome in the popular culture, and the food world. Weeks ago, various Springfields across the country competed to be “the Springfield” of The Simpsons (I happen to live in the Springfield that staged a riot in the city center and threw Krispy Kreme donuts and yellow paint on a Fox TV executive). Now Homer Simpson is hosting The Tonight Show. There is a Movie Soundtrack packaged inside a plastic Sprinklicious donut, and there are DVD collections with t-shirts vacuum-packed into a donut shape.

On the food side, Burger King is featuring its Ultimate Double Whopper as Homer Simpson’s favorite, and kids can collect 16 different toy characters. There’s even a BK-sponsored www.simpsonizeme.com website where people can be morphed into a Simpson character. And grocery aisles have housed yellow-skinned characters on Ritz cracker boxes, Fruit Snacks, Corn Puffs, Kellogg’s Cereal, Pez dispensers, D’Oh Cookies, Pop-Tarts, Bellywash drinks, canned soda, and most recently, Homerific Duff & D’oh-nuts Ice Cream (Ben & Jerry’s), flavored like beer and doughnuts.

The other problem with all this movie-related product is shelf life. I’m not talking about the shelf life of the foods themselves. Cereals, snacks and sodas may last for months. But once the movie has premiered and the TV ads are (mercifully) off the airwaves, these products are still sitting there on the shelves. Does anyone really still want to buy their kids Shrek The Third Eggos, Pop-Tarts, Cereal, Cheez-Its, Go-Gurt, Snickers with green filling, or frozen Swamp Pops (see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDamvhgpClk)?